1. Paperweight
All those damn bits of paper flying around! Simple solution
here! Put your biggest unused dildo on them to keep them in one
place. Never lose a bit of paper again.
2. Bookends
You love books right? You may have piles in the corners all over
your house. Well, get sorting. Take some books, line them up neatly
and place a dildo (in matching colours of course) at either end.
Voila!
3. Doorstop
I get so fed up with people banging doors in my house. A couple
of quick screws through the dildo into the wall, and the job's
done. Your dildo will dong your door right back at ya!
4. Plunger
Blocked toilet? Easily fixed. Get your biggest old toy (a double
ended one may work better here) and plunge it as deep and hard
around your U-bend as it can handle, give it a wiggle and
flush!
5. Dog chew toy
Is your dog bored? What better way to use your old unloved
toys? Dildos love a good nibble. When guests ask where you got it,
just tap your nose and nod.
6. Objet d'art
Stick your old glass dildo on the fireplace. Next to your
candles. Voila! Instantly transformed into a piece of modern art
and a great talking point with guests.
7. Rolling pin
You are baking a cake. You are following a new recipe which
calls for a rolling pin. Don't panic! Get your 9 inch friend
(perfect size for the cake tin) and let it pound your dough for
you! No need to buy a rolling pin.
8. Toilet roll holder
I hate rogue toilet rolls just sitting around the bathroom,
don't you? Well, a great use for that old dusty dildo is a loo roll
holder! They fit perfectly!
9. A ruler
You must have various sizes right? So you know its 6, 7, 8
inches etc. A couple of lines with a sharpie pen and you have an
instant ruler.
10. You could wash it…
…and put it to some proper use.
Or chuck it and buy a
new one (like the one in the picture)
