Dream high, we say at DIVA. Set your goals! Don't be put out,
however, if you meet a few others with the same plans to…
Make a film
Our lives are constructed in artistic frames- we see the world
slightly differently to everyone else. We want to buy one of those
vintage cameras off ebay and set up a studio in our friend's
exhibition hall. It'll be conceptual, of course and will all be
filmed within those four walls. No, it's nothing to do with the
budget. Art can only seek to be a representation of ideologies that
Last week it was contemporary sonnets; this week it's a murder
mystery. The many unfinished projects are just exemplifying the
fragmentation of the human mind, obviously. Whether the protagonist
is an undercover CIA agent or a personified fish, we find ourselves
saying 'Don't you see how this completely elaborate plot is really
a parody of my failing relationship?'
Start taking photos professionally
Everyone has seen the black and whites we took at the work
picnic and the fish-eye digitals we captured on a night out last
week. First step: learning how to develop pictures ourselves which
means we'll save money at Boots and maybe get that polarization
effect down, because it's soo popular on Facebook scans right now.
There's definitely still a gap in the market for photos of my naked
girlfriend taken on a disposable, right?
Get signed by a record label
It's about time, really. Especially considering we sold over 30
EPs at the queer pub on the corner and a girl asked us to sign her
menu. One thing this country needs is another female
Train as an aromatherapist (or any kind of
Sick of being in an office 9-5 and inspired by the yoga retreat
last month, we shall follow in the footsteps of the inspirational
Guru Anna. We've stocked up on incense from Brick Lane and a pair
of authentic harem pants; £1000 seems a reasonable enough price to
be fully qualified.
Become a tattoo artist
What to do with a foundation in fine art? An eye for
perfectionism, and an avid doodler, tattooing seems a perfect
route. It also means that we can do mates' ink cheap from home; we
know at least four friends that want each others'/their dogs' names
tattooed somewhere on their body.
Start own organic food company
Taking apart BLTs and complaining about that 'almost itchy'
taste of pesticides, we decide to become as successful as Innocent
Smoothies with our allotment-based products. Our motto is: we
should treat vegetables as we would like to be treated (minus the
dirt and various ropes attached to limbs, of course).
Finally finish my architecture degree
Seven years is a long time, especially when you have to take
time out to a) work full time in a gay bar, or b) run out of money
and move back home. Unfortunately, it is hard to find employment
when you're only in-part qualified, so after a four year break it's
time to complete what was started at the ripe age of 18. Oh, the
If younger and stuck in the sticks: move to the
Disillusioned with being the only gay for miles and impressed by
the ant-nest of lesbian inhabitation, we have got the taste in our
mouths for city life. There's no need to sort out a job or a place
to live; opportunities just fall into place when you make it to the
If older and city-dwelling: retire to the
It's time for a change: the girl dancing next to us is wearing a
21 badge the size of her face and conducting a 'strawpedo'
competition on the dance-floor. We want time and space. We want a