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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Heart feeling a bit heavy this week, Aries? It's ok, you're allowed to wallow in self-pity a la Bridget Jones, but don't expect too much sympathy. We all know that when someone is in the depths of heartbreak, they'll eventually drag themselves out of the ice cream quicksand, belt out that song instead of weeping to it and put on their best face - rather than their slightly damp, streaked with make-up one. If you're the one diving into a family sized bar of Galaxy whilst on your third glass of wine, it's ok, enjoy it… but don't fester in your sadness for too long, you'll be ok.

 

 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Everyone has their favourites, Taurus, but it seems that you're being somewhat overlooked with the special treatment. Whether your boss isn't appreciating your talents, you didn't get invited to your friend's movie night or if a family member forgot to mention their engagement party - you shouldn't stand for it! If people aren't going to appreciate you, then make them - I don't mean stand on the tables and make an Oscar-worthy speech, I just mean make yourself noticed. Put yourself in their conversations and in their line of vision, no-one can ignore something that's right in front of them!

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Needing a little gusto where your motivation's concerned, Gemini? I'm sure it's there, hidden beneath those sneaky fag butts and the odd Crème Egg, or that might just be wishful thinking. You might not think that anyone has noticed your lack of commitment to your goals, but they have - the subtle edging towards a thinned crusted pizza or slim-line tonic in your G&T isn't just for fun… maybe take note of what your friends are saying rather than shunning them? They only have your best interests at heart, and a wee health kick wouldn't go amiss would it? Marlboro and a chow mein might seem like your best friends right now, but it'll only end in tears…

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

You snooze, you lose, Cancer. Being quick off the mark in this day and age is a desirable characteristic, but it seems that your drive and determination needs a little honing… Dilly-dallying over the small print? Bam! That dream job has gone. Fussing over your perfect woman's taste in films? Uh oh, she's been snapped up too. Some things wait for no-one, so it's all very well being a stickler for detail, but when that becomes detrimental to your life choices, then something needs to be done my friend. Try to be more impulsive with your decisions; you never know where it could lead you.

 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Finding it hard to connect and be open, Leo? It seems that at the moment your brain is fluent, but your mouth wants to stutter… and while stumbling over your words can be endearing, when you're trying to lay something important on the table or be open with someone you love, then you need to be clear with your words. Uhming and ahhing your way through a declaration of love (or of something else) isn't going to sound sincere, nor is it going to be easy to understand. Nerves often get the better of us, so why not write down what you want to say? Bullet point your feelings? Failing that, a shot of whiskey down the hatch will soon sort out those mumblings…

 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Feeling a bit edgy lately, Virgo? We all have periods of unrest and leg-jiggling impatience, but that doesn't mean that you have to take it out on those closest to you. Rather than rebuffing your loved ones empathetic queries, why not answer them honestly? Bottling up your feelings of annoyance aren't going to get you far, and they just transpire into your actions - knocking over your coffee or burning your dinner will only further your irritability. So speak to your friends, have a hot bath or go for a run. Just find a way to get rid of this excess energy and frustration, you'll feel a lot better afterwards, trust me.

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Trying to find positives in every situation is a wonderful tactic to use, Libra, but sometimes you have to allow yourself to feel slighted by something… sometimes you just have to let yourself be pissed off. Sure, being positive and happy is excellent for your wellbeing, but you need a little resistance to that happiness occasionally - if you don't, then you're likely to find yourself crashing back to Earth with a monumental bang. Be pissed off, let yourself rant and rave like a loon, we Brits are famous for our ability to be grumpy at the slightest thing, so why not go with the masses for once? Follow the crowd and be miserable…try it for a day at least.

 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

Clicking your way through the world-wide web does not qualify as life experience, Scorpio. Sure, you can read about things, learn, comment on and like various things, hell you can even start a trend if you like… but gazing lustily at someone else's photos of their work experience in Ghana won't give you the same satisfaction as if you were doing it yourself. So why not put that index finger to good use (not like that - dirty minx) and find something worthwhile to do? There are so many fulfilling things that you can do that can be aided by the internet, so don't rely on it for your cultural kicks, use it to help you get there.

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

Hovering around your crush isn't going to make her notice you, Sagittarius; in fact, you look like you're waiting to ask for directions. What's the worst that could happen eh? We're so used to a world filled with online dating, potential mates are literally at our fingertips, so a bit of good old fashioned person to person courtship wouldn't go amiss, surely? She'll either appreciate your advances or she won't, and if she doesn't then you can recharge your ego whilst swiping through various dating apps. So go for it, I'm sure your ego can handle a knockback, but surely it's worth a shot?

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

Finding that you're picking through your salad for the fourth time this week, Capricorn? Health kicks are all well and good, but you need to feel passionate about it and if you're honest, no-one has ever felt passionate about a soggy lettuce leaf. Everyone is jumping on the health food bandwagon, so why don't you join them? Things that sound like foreign countries - Quinoa, Flaxseed, Indumba - are actually really good for you. So shelf the shredded carrot and limp celery and be a bit more inventive with your brunch. If it all goes tits up, I'm sure there's a McDonald's close by they do sell salads there too (although the health benefits leave a lot to be desired…)

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

I hate to say this, Aquarius, but it looks like you've lost your mojo. But fear not! There are some things you can do to find it again - I'm not saying that you need to don a velvet suit of frilly shirt, but maybe if you feel good about yourself, you'll want to make others feel good too? Treat yourself - go and get a new hair cut or buy some new clothes, hell, splash out on a spa day if that's what you're in to! Whatever makes you feel good, do it… appreciative glances will be flowing your way and you'll have to find your mojo again if you want to be successful where matters of the heart are concerned, believe in yourself!


 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Feeling a little old before your time, Pisces? Donning your carpet slippers and settling in front of Countryfile seems to be a regular weekend activity for you, but where's your sense of youth gone? If hills and animals get you going, then that's all very well, but throw a little excitement in there, even a hot chocolate would do! If, on reflection, you're realising your settling habits… then throw off your dressing gown and head on out. You're young and certainly young at heart, so go and act like it… life is for living, drinks are for drinking (although not too many) and ladies are for partying with. So call on your friends and get rid of the pink wash on your hair… have some fun!

 

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