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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Fishing for compliments are we, Aries? No-one likes giving a compliment when it's been asked for and, if you're honest, it comes across as slightly insincere if the compliment is forced. So why do you suddenly need this validation? Why the sudden neediness? There's nothing wrong with requiring a bit of TLC from your friends and loved ones, but don't push your luck, constantly asking for them to tell you that you're beautiful or funny, a good person or a good lover gets a bit tiresome after a while and no-one likes to give compliments to those who are already big-headed, right? So stop making people put you on a pedestal…

 

 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Finding it hard not to flip out all the time, Taurus? Maybe you need to find some time to chill out? Flipping your lid at the slightest of problems is bound to cause you some health problems in the long run - think of your blood pressure for goodness sake! We can only take so much stress before we rival Mount Vesuvius with our eruptions, so be quick in finding in outlet for your stress. Camomile tea works a treat, as does a long soak in the bath - but if you're feeling frustrated why don't you go for a run, or join a boxing class? Failing that, I've heard that certain bedroom activities are fantastic stress relievers…

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Do you feel like you're fighting a losing battle, Gemini? We've all seen the different types of breakdown that can happen in a relationship - thanks to The L Word we lesbians are no stranger to seeing heartbreak played out in front of us. But sometimes, things don't have to come to blows, you gradually just end up at a fork in the road and you need to make a decision - to part ways and acknowledge that you've been flogging a dead horse for far too long, or to fight and stay together. No amount of Shane's failed relationships or Bette and Tina's angst can prepare you for the real deal, only you can decide what to do…

 

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

If you're going to play the field, Cancer, at least make sure your choice of ladies live in different postcodes. I know it's easier on you to keep your booty calls close to home, but when you refuse to make the effort to keep them apart, I've no doubt in my mind that it'll come back to bite you on the arse. It's so easy, with various apps and online dating, to find someone close by, or to find a few people who are close by - but just have a little more tact! Besides, you might get hurt too… if you find a few ladies on an app, then chances are that they're going to frequent the same haunts and probably are well acquainted with one another…

 

 

 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Biting the bullet and going for it is something that you're going to have to conquer my Leo friend. It's scary, I know, putting yourself out there, but there's nothing quite like reaping the rewards of self-made success, so why don't you give it a shot? Leo's are usually no stranger to fronting out their fear, so what's the problem? It's a big deal if you do, and it's a big deal if you don't, but really, what've you got to lose? Your dignity and lion's pride might be a bit bashed if you fail, but you'll soon pick yourself up, dust yourself off and get back on the prowl. So go for it, who knows what might happen eh?

 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Letting someone down gently, Virgo, doesn't mean that they're not going to be upset/angry/pissed off/vengeful. So, you've led someone on, and now they think that it's more serious than you'd bargained for. You were hoping for a quick roll around in the hay, they were hoping for something more and you've got your wires crossed - please, let them down gently, but remember that they're going to be hurt, so you're going to have to deal with the consequences and take it as a lesson to be learnt for next time. You don't have to put it down in paper, but try not to lead someone on when your intentions aren't honourable…

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Is everything grating on you at the moment, Libra? Co-workers nails drumming against their keyboard? The sound of someone's flip-flops slapping against their heels? The noisy eater on the train? What is wrong with you? We all have things that piss us off, but at the moment it seems that everything is getting on your wick - I don't know if it's the heat or because you're tired but you need to chill out my friend. Don't take it out on other people just because you can't handle their actions. I'm sure that your nasal breathing and nail-biting habit annoy other people too but you don't see them huffing and puffing, do you?

 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

Letting other people decide your fate for you, Scorpio, can sometimes end in tears. Occasionally you need to decide things for yourself, and running to your friends for advice is all well and good, but when you take it all of the time and don't think for yourself - that's when problems arise. People are easily manipulated, and if you're not careful you might end up being one of the few who are guided through their decisions and choices by someone else. So grab the bull by the horns and find that assertive side. You never know, this assertion might find its way into the bedroom, you might enjoy not being so passive all of the time…

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

Raising your eyebrows to the high heavens when you hear something you don't like isn't going to change it, Sagittarius. So why don't you grow some metaphorical balls and say something? The worst that can happen is you'll have a row, right? But you'll feel a lot better if you get certain things off of your chest. If you don't like something that someone has said or done, there's only one way to tackle that problem - and it's not hiding away and grumbling to your cat that you're pissed off. You know that to make a difference you need to stand up to those who have annoyed you, so do it - don't run from it.

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

Stuck in a rut, Capricorn? We all tend to get a bit sick and tired of the mundane every day routine - wake up, work, sleep etc. But, unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, we are all suffering the same fate and we all have to work for a living. Sometimes we have to make time for ourselves, so why not take a day off work for once and make no plans, see no-body, don't push yourself to commit to anything? We just need to make time to rejuvenate ourselves without feeling guilty about pulling a sickie or laying in for too long - you'll feel so much better if you allow yourself a rest…

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Going around and around the houses to get to the point is taking far too long, Aquarius, and people are becoming disinterested. If you're going to tell a story at length, then at least make sure to keep your audience entertained, throw in a few jokes, do some actions to accompany your tale. There's something about being the centre of attention that makes our pride swell but if you're not going to catch the attention of people with your escapades, then you're going to have to let someone else have the spotlight for a little bit, and we all know that'll go down like a sack of potatoes where you're concerned - liven it up!

 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Why don't you ever take a risk, Pisces? There's nothing to be gained by staying within the limits and barely toeing the line. You won't get called goody-two-shoes in the adult world but you will get neglected, as people rarely want someone 'boring' around, cramping their style. There's a difference between being responsible, and sucking the fun out of things, and it seems that you're veering slightly towards the latter if you ask me. But you're not afraid to do these things, so why do you stop yourself (and others) from getting involved? You're all old enough and ugly enough to make your choices and occasionally you have to take a risk!

 

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