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DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

You're like a chameleon, Aries. It's been a big change for you and no one would blame you if you didn't settle in! But look at you go, blending right into the background! Good for you. In fact… Aries? Where… where d'ya go?

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Put. Your. Girl. Down. Taurus! I think everyone knows that you're together and if they didn't, well, it looks like she's been stitched to your hip so I think they do now. Don't be so possessive; it'll all end in tears and you'll push her away.

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Looks like it's your week, Gemini. You've got yourself a brand new pupil to teach guitar/cooking/yoga to. And, woah, you weren't expecting that were you? I know she's hot but remember, you're the teacher. She is only a year younger than you though…

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

Hello? Earth to Cancer? What are you doing!! Everyone thinks you're making a mistake and I have to agree with them. Surely this isn't the right decision… if you think it is then go ahead. But you might have your head buried in the sand sooner than you think.

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Go on Leo, you bask in that sunlight. It's all for you, you know? Just don't take it all for granted, a lot of people arranged this for you. Remember your Ps & Qs and we'll all get along fine. If not, then you might end up getting burnt.

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Don't let them take the piss, Virgo. You're too nice for your own good and people are taking advantage of you! It's time to sit back and take it all in. You'll soon realise which friends always "forget their wallet"/"dropped something on their clothes"/"thought your girlfriend was their girlfriend'.

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Haven't you had enough yet, Libra? You're indulging in everything lately. Your stomach is full, your wallet is nearly bare, your liver is screaming for a rest and as for… well… you know… you might want to give it a rest before you cause some real damage.

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

You seem to be the epitome of Shane, Frankie, Sam and "insert mysterious, brooding and sexy lesbian name here" this week, Scorpio! What're you hiding and who are you hiding it from? Careful though, even Shane's secrets came out in the end.

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

So… you're going out? No, you're staying in? Ok you're going to a club? No, the pub? Dinner? You want dinner? Calm down Sagittarius! Make a decision and stick with it… life isn't going anywhere without you, there's plenty of time for everything.

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

Where did you go wrong, Capricorn? Can't you see? Nope. Well, that's because you're too damn stubborn!! If you actually attached your conscience to your mind you'd be able to see that you owe a few people an apology.

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Look at you, back on top Aquarius! In more ways than one I'd imagine. So, what's your secret? Toys? Kinky-ness? Food? Ok, it's your secret. It looks like it's working too, someone's certainly happy!

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Why can you not settle, Pisces? In a relationship, a job, even your hobbies. You need a lesson in how to pick something and stay with it. You're like a fish out of water when it comes to sticking with something, but now's the time to do it.

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MPU
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  5. Cover feature: Alice Arnold interviews Heather Peace