Thank you for letting us know. We will review this comment.

COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Allowing yourself to flail around in a sea of uncertainty isn't the way to go about things, Aries… you need to take control! Leaving things to the last minute or embarking upon a great trip with little planning will only end in disaster, and before you know it, you'll be up shit creek without a paddle. So rein it in my friend, make plans, know which direction you're going in and stick to it and always expect the unexpected - if you venture out on an adventure without sufficient planning, things will screw up and mistakes will be made. If you can prepare for these in advance, you'll get back home in one piece!

 

 

Passion Rating:

Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Fine cuisine and expensive wine isn't the be all and end all of life, Taurus. So why are you relying on dining out in eye-wateringly pricey places to make an impression on others? Sure, offering to foot the bill and managing to hide your heavy breathing when you see the price is a feat - and it gets you in the good books of others, but your bank balance won't thank you in the end. If people really want to spend time with you, they won't give a damn if you're dining in the Ritz or eating chips out of newspaper, try it, see who really is loyal to you and who just wanted to dine out on lobster on your bank card.

 

 

 

Passion Rating:

Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Sometimes life can be an arsehole, Gemini. I'm not talking about it shoving you round a bit like rush hour on the underground, I'm talking about it ramming into you, slapping you hard in the face and stealing all your cash. It can be hard, and it can be harsh, but as with many things, we have to power through and have hope that in time we'll feel more able to tackle things again. We all have potholes and bumps in our lives and some can be monumentally more traumatic than others, but if you have faith in your friends, family and support system, you'll be ok. Give it time and you'll be back tackling the underground of life before you know it.

 

Passion Rating:

Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

Leaving things to the last minute again, Cancer? If you're swamped with post-it notes and to-do lists, I'd suggest that you need to get organised (either that, or fashion yourself a new outfit from the sheer quantity of sticky notes you have hanging around). You're either incredibly forgetful, or you can't be bothered - my money's on the latter, after all we do tend to get stuck into eight episodes of something on Netflix and forget that we exist in a real world where things need to be done. So, rather than submitting to your social death in the form of Netflix, why not get things done and then reward yourself with a telly marathon?

 

 

Passion Rating:

Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Stranger things happen at sea, Leo. You seem to have found yourself up against a series of unfortunate circumstances and instead of tackling them you've made like a banana, and split. Problems have a funny way of finding you again, they're like that annoying puppy-dog friend, the one that messages 24/7 and when they don't get a reply they turn up on your doorstep… if you're not careful it'll be your problems pelting your window with stones. So please deal with the circumstances you've found yourself in, if you thought that friend was bad - you ain't seen nothin' yet.

 

Passion Rating:

Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Sleeping with the enemy is somewhat better than sleeping with the fishes, Virgo - I guess, anyway. But sleeping with the enemy is just as dangerous you know? In public you claim to hate one another, glaring across the club and bitching behind one another's backs, but in private you can't get enough of each other. So what's going on? It's only a matter of time before your friends notice your simultaneous absences from social events, and no matter how film-noir-esque you make your entrances and exits from one another's homes, you're going to be found out… the beige mac won't keep it shtum for long so be careful!

 

Passion Rating:

Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

Claiming that you don't care, Libra, only works if you act like you don't - as we all know, actions speak louder than words. If you're stating that you no longer give a flying fudge what that certain someone does, whilst simultaneously trawling through their Facebook account something isn't adding up. Your friends and family haven't failed to notice your slight obsession and it's veering on the edge of stalking, so I suggest that you step away from the social networking sites and go and take a cold shower before you get yourself into trouble. If you still feel the urge to pursue your stalking habits, get your friends to have a harsh word in your ear, that'll sort you out.

 

Passion Rating:

Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

Finding anyone to blame but yourself isn't the right road to go down, Scorpio. Whether it's blaming the cat for smashing a glass (that was your fault) or being accused of kissing someone else (it wasn't you - it was someone that looks like you... besides, on the night in question you were at your yoga and chia seed tutorial meeting, right?) Excuses are hard to remember and lies are easily messed up, before you know it you'll be tripping over yourself trying to remember who you blamed for what - so isn't it about time you came clean? Stop trying to drop others in deep shit and take responsibility for your actions!

 

Passion Rating:

Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

We all love a keepsake, right? We all hoard photos and train tickets and teddies from times gone by… but when these things are causing you a significant amount of heartache - isn't it about time you had a little life cleanse? It can be hard throwing away things that hold memories, but not all memories are dear to you and some can be detrimental to your soul - so have a clear out! I'm sure Mr Snuggles won't mind you throwing him out, especially if he knew the heartbreak you attach to him and I'm sure that certain photos can be shredded… so get to it and clear out your home, you'll soon find that your mind will follow.

 

Passion Rating:

Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

It is common courtesy, Capricorn, to NOT screw around behind another's back. You know that, and I know that, so we can safely assume that others know it too - so why have you fallen victim and not had the same courtesy extended to you? It hurts right? And you're allowed to hurt, you've been shat on from a great height and in one of the worst ways possible, so do what you need to do. If you need to shout, scream, cry, laugh, have sex, don't have sex, sleep, eat, drink too much - then do it. Heartbreak hurts, but you will emerge from an ice-cream and Jack Daniels stupor in no time, and I promise you that you'll feel a lot better.

 

Passion Rating:

Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Wet Wet Wet might have alluded to the fact that if you can feel it in your fingers and feel it in your toes then it most certainly is love, Aquarius, but that's not always the case. Don't get too loved up too soon my friend. Be wary - we all have a tendency to head into a new relationship all guns blazing and wearing rose tinted glasses to protect us from the shrapnel heading our way - but go in with xray/night/carrot induced vision if you can. We're all guilty of falling in love too quickly, and you've been hurt enough times to know when you're heading in a downward spiral, but also, you've been hurt enough times to know when you need to get the hell out!

 

Passion Rating:

Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Slippery slope, this dieting business isn't it, Pisces? So far you've counted calories, gone to groups, donned suffocating wraps and lived off of sweet potato for a month and nothing seems to be working. Rather than working on dieting and losing weight, why not work on being healthy? You can still look in the mirror and learn to love what you see, but that needs to start from the inside out - but if you're craving a triple chocolate chip muffin don't deny yourself such joy! You'll only make yourself miserable and mental health is just as important as physical, so take it easy on yourself and let it all go for once.

 

Passion Rating: