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COOKIES & PRIVACY POLICY

DIVA Horoscopes

Aries (21 Mar-19 Apr)

Letting someone get away with murder is terrible, Aries, especially when your motive for your forgiving nature is that you're dying to get into their knickers… Didn't think you'd be that transparent did you? But when you're fawning all over someone when usually you'd kick off at their actions, it's pretty obvious what you're doing. Your friends have noticed it, your family has noticed it, even your crush has noticed it too and guess what - they're just playing you! So I think it's time that you became a bit stronger and put that lady in her place when she tries to walk all over you… what do you reckon?

 

 

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Taurus (20 Apr-20 May)

Not really feeling in tip-top condition, Taurus? I'm not surprised! With the amount of partying and late night activities you've been having recently, it's no wonder you're feeling a bit under the weather. Sniffles and coughs don't bode well in the long run, and it seems that you're well on your way to running out of steam - so why don't you just take a moment, eh? Allow yourself that long overdue night in front of the telly, top up on some TLC and indulge in a Lemsip… burning the candle at both ends is guaranteed to get on top of you in the end, so just heed my advice and relax for goodness sake!

 

 

 

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Gemini (21 May-21 Jun)

Mindfulness is everywhere, Gemini. All of this positive chat is getting on top of you and you're inundated with positive encouragement - yoga or Pilates? 7/11  breathing or green tea? More sleep, or up early for a run? Who knows what the best route to follow for mental well-being is, especially when everyone is jumping on the same bandwagon. I suggest that you make your own positivity… having to choose what's best for you when there is so much to pick from is hardly conducive to a stress-free mentality is it? So have a bath and put your feet up, pick your own happiness, even if that is playing endlessly on the Xbox.

 

 

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Cancer (22 Jun-22 Jul)

Why are you confusing things for yourself, Cancer? Sometimes the best thing we can do when there are lots of plans, lots of people and lots of emotions, is to simplify. Make a list or two, cut out the middle man and deal directly with the source (as you know, that'll reduce the number of rumours that circulate about you too!) Just take a breather and sit down with an alcoholic beverage and plan things out. Don't worry about being seen as a busy body, taking time to organise can be incredibly cleansing for the mind and the soul, your stress levels will reduce just knowing that you've got a schedule to stick to… just remember that not everything is set in stone, so with somethings you might come a cropper, but you'll be okay! 

 

 

 

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Leo (23 Jul-22 Aug)

Haven't got the heart to tell the truth, Leo? Surely it's more damaging to don those rose tinted glasses and pretend that everything's okay? Lies upon lies and fake emotions upon fake emotions will only ever end in tears, and pretending that all is well will only ever make things worse in the long run. So stop being a cowardly lion and find the words to say how you really feel, you never know, you might be surprised by how things work out in the end. They may go in your favour, they may go against, but at least you know that your conscience is clear because you've been honest, both with yourself and others…

 

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Virgo (23 Aug-22 Sep)

Some things just aren't meant to stay under-wraps, Virgo. Unfortunately for you, it seems that someone has spilt the beans on some of your best guarded secrets - so now, I'm afraid all that can be done is an attempt at damage limitation. So some people have been hurt, some people aren't very happy with you and you're a bit embarrassed… but it's not the end of the world right? Most things can be fixed and you can rekindle friendships in time, but you're going to have to suffer the wrath of those affected by your secrets. Take it with honour and you'll be okay, refuse and throw your toys out of the pram, and someone will surely hold a grudge…

 

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Libra (23 Sep-23 Oct)

If you're flipping your lid over the tiny things, Libra, we can only imagine your reaction when all hell breaks loose! You need to learn how to manage your stress levels, my friend, or you're going to end up with a cardiac, I mean, think of your blood pressure! No-one really likes being around someone who is liable to blow their top at any moment, and people are finding that they're walking around on egg shells near you through fear. If you were a cartoon, steam would be coming out of your ears, and you know as well as the next person that that's not a good look. So find another way to relieve your stress… try talking, for one.

 

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Scorpio (24 Oct-21 Nov)

You're all about the L word aren't you, Scorpio? No, not our favourite lesbian TV series, the LOVE word. Where most would cringe away from it and run in the opposite direction, you head straight into it with arms wide open. If you even get a whiff of dishonesty or a sense of a one night stand, you turn on your heels and leave, in search of your next great love conquest. But sometimes, do you not think that you could be missing out? Morphing into the lesbian Bridget Jones is all well and good, but it doesn't come without its turmoil… why don't you forget the L word for a little while and just have some fun? There's plenty of time for love later.

 

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Sagittarius (22 Nov-21 Dec)

On a diet, Sagittarius? Most of us try to watch what we eat, but you don't need to be so hard on yourself. We all have a bit of a slip up, especially when you're allowing yourself three Ryvita's for your lunch - I mean c'mon, nobody can survive on cardboard every day. There's nothing wrong with stuffing your face, as long as you're willing to follow up on your healthy eating, going down the dark (yet oh so tasty) rabbit hole of cake, cookies, biscuits and takeaways can be a hard one to escape from, but if you dip a toe in occasionally, I don't see a problem at all! Indulge yourself, you'll only be grumpy if you don't!

 

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Capricorn (22 Dec-19 Jan)

Feeling feisty, aren't we Capricorn? This morning you've already tackled the catcalls from builders, the offensive work colleague and the temperamental coffee machine, and all with a suitable amount of sass. There's nothing wrong with embracing your sassy side once in a while, just be careful that you're not retorting to everything that everyone says all of the time, otherwise you run the risk of becoming a bit of an annoyance. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for a strong, opinionated woman, but some women feel threatened by this strength... if in doubt, though, you could always take them under your wing…

 

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Aquarius (20 Jan-18 Feb)

Holes in your pockets, Aquarius? Bank account been raided? None of the above? So what's the reason behind your incredible spending recently? Sure, we all like to impress and make a statement… a statement watch, or an expensive dinner usually does the trick… or maybe even a night in an expensive hotel as a 'treat'. But, we can't all live like Queens and Kings all of the time, so you might have to calm it down a bit. Your bank are on the verge of closing your account due to fraudulent activity, so give the plastic a rest and have a night in for goodness sake, let it (and yourself) have a breather!

 

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Pisces (19 Feb-20 Mar)

Learning to channel anger in to something productive, Pisces, could be one of the best things you can do. Pissed off? Go and pummel some dough and become a master baker. Stressed out? Go and beat the crap out of a punching bag. Generally feeling a bit cheesed off? Go and have some fun by yourself in the bedroom. Seeing red? Maybe you should go and get your eyes tested… Whatever your means, you'll find a positive ending (if you get my drift) and your stress levels will go down too. Anger doesn't help with anything, and if you've got a clear head you can learn to tackle even the most stressful of tasks…

 

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